Thursday, July 28, 2016


At the funeral home where Caitlin Harrigan's funeral is being held, Tyler kneels down before her corpse before rising and shaking hands with Sean and his wife Tipper.

"I'm sorry about your daughter," Tyler says.

"Thank you, Tyler," Sean says.  "Your being here means a lot to us."

"Tyler," Tipper replies, "thank you for coming.  I can't believe that Caitlin's ex-beau would do this to our baby."

"I know how you feel," Tyler says.  "We lost our daughter a while back, and my wife's got 2 different neurological disorders coming at her at the same time."

"How is she?" Tipper asks.

"She's taking it badly," Tyler says.

"Please give her our love," Sean says.

"I will," Tyler says.

After greeting the rest of the family, Tyler goes to the water cooler for a cold drink.  Meanwhile, one of Caitlin's friends is crying on a nearby chair.

"Are you okay?" Tyler asks her.

"No, I'm not!" the girl says.  "How could that asshole shoot her and cause all this?"

"How many friends did you..."  Tyler asks, but the girl interrupts.

"I don't want to talk  about it!  I was barred from my prom because I'd gotten into trouble with the police."

"Okay, I'll give you your space.  If you do need to talk, you can always call me at my house."

Tyler walks away with a grave feeling in his heart.  "It's nothing to do with me," he thinks.  "These kids have lost a lot of their friends."

Some of the other kids who've attended the funerals of their friends are waiting to visit the funeral home as he walks out.  He goes to visit his wife, but she doesn't want to see her today; it's not a good day.

Later, he walks into his usual joint, the Bar Stool.  The place is silent since the tragedy a week ago.  Most of the patrons are drinking beer without saying a word.

"What'll it be, Tyler?"

"The usual."

He gets his favorite bottle of beer while someone at the counter is talking about a sandwich on a bagel that he just bought.

"Is this sandwich fresh?"

"Fresh?" The counter man says.  Then he laughs and says, "No!  It's stale!"  Suddenly, his boss comes over and slaps him in the face, causing him to burst into tears.

"You're fired!" he says to him.  "Get out!  Don't even bother cleaning up your damn desk!"  He grabs him and pulls him through the bar before throwing him out.

"And stay out!" he says.  As he walks back to his office, he tells Tyler, "Hey, don't get upset with me.  He had it coming."

"I couldn't agree more," Tyler says with a smile.

"How's the Pigeon?"

"Not too hot.  The doctors wouldn't let me see her today."

"That's too bad."

Monday, February 15, 2016


Okay, let's try this SCM Player thing again.  I put it up last night, but I don't think it worked out.
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Thursday, January 14, 2016

3 A.M.!

"Monday on CBC! the announcer shouts.  "The event you've been waiting for all season long!  'Fumbled Follies!  The Jennifer Kirk Story!'  Starring Catherine O'Hara as Jennifer Kirk!  Laura Harris as Ann Hewson!  And introducing Dick Clifford as Mrs. Claus!  Check your local listings!"

Tyler's up at 3 a.m. flicking the channels, but he's surprised that a Canadian Broadcasting Corporation TV channel is showing up on his TV. 

"This is the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation serving the provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island.  Our broadcast facilities are located in Moncton, Fredricton, St. John, Halifax, Sydney and Charlottetown, with cable and satellite carriage throughout the Maritimes.  These stations are now leaving the air, but CBC Radio One and Two continue all night.  Check your local listings for the frequency in your region.  We will resume broadcasting in 3 hours at 6 a.m. this morning with CBC Morning News, followed by Kids CBC at 7.  At 12 Noon, we'll have the Midday Report, followed by 12 continuous hours of the Olympic Games from Quito.  Good night."

He muses that it's an hour later-about 4 a.m.-in the Maritimes.  He watches "O Canada" being played by the Toronto Symphony Orchestra with scenes of various Canadian areas being shown. As the anthem ends, a photo of a bound and gagged woman appears on the screen while a funereal version of "God Save The Queen" is played.  

"This is disgusting!" Tyler snarls.  After the anthem ends, instead of the test pattern, an announcer says "The following is a paid program for..."

Click.  Tyler goes back to bed.  He turns on the radio and listens to a jazz station playing music by Brubeck.

Down the street, there's another 25 bodies being found in the charred ruins of the ballroom where the prom was held last week. 

Monday, November 9, 2015


As Tyler switches on one of the local Periwinkle Village channels, he finds a Portuguese channel doing a beer commercial.

"Festeja Com Heil Hitler!  A Cerveja Das Nazis Brasileras..."

He switches to another channel.

"If you will elect me as your next Governor, I will see to it that all the Jews are killed!  Also, I will see to it that all blacks are sent back to Africa..."

He switches the channel to ESPN's live coverage of the FIFA Champions League first round match between Baby Acorn of Japan and Shamrock Rovers of Ireland.  It's a boring match being played in the Dubai soccer stadium with rain following in torrents.

"Kubota's tripped over the ball," the commentator yells.  "He's split his head open!"  Suddenly, the screen goes blank.  After about 20 seconds, the picture shows a promo for "The Wedding Of Dan Cupid and Richard Clifford...Has Been Called Off."

Tyler switches off the TV and heads to bed.  But he can't sleep, so he goes back down to the TV and turns the game back on.  It's into stoppage time of the second half and there's still no score.  He switches to another channel to find an old MGM cartoon called "Peace On Earth."  But he catches just as the female squirrel sings "Sleep In Heavenly Peace" to her kids on Christmas Eve.

The title "Peace On Earth" appears with a sun rising in the heavens.  He switches back to the game.

"And there's the whistle," the commentator says as the referee blows his whistle.  "And the match is over.  With Eiji Kubota hurt in this match, who knows what will happen to Baby Acorn now?  It's 0-0 between them and Shamrock Rovers.  Stay tuned for Sports Center, which follows immediately." 

Tyler switches the channel to see an Asian woman dressed in a white blouse and a dark blue pleated skirt.  Her hands are tied behind her back and rope encircles her torso.
"Hello, you naughty boys out there," she says.  "Welcome to the Bondage Overnight, featuring the best in ladies all tied up and loving every minute of it.  Tonight, our first feature is called..."

He switches the channel to find the cast of Wacky Races singing the "Aloha" song.  He then turns the TV off again and goes back to bed.

Outside his house, someone yells "Sieg Heil!"  He pulls out a gun and shoots at him, but he dodges the bullets and disappears into the night.

To be continued...

Sunday, June 14, 2015


The past 3 days have been a nervous wreck for the townspeople of Periwinkle Village.  69 high school students were killed on Friday night when a youth rode into the Rockland ballroom on Rte. 139 and started shooting at people before throwing a hand grenade into the roof.  It caused an electrical fire which spread like hell in a matter of minutes.  Over 150 others are injured. The Periwinkle Village school department has already cancelled graduation ceremonies, saying that the surviving grads will receive their diplomas by mail.
The first of several dozen funerals are taking place at several local churches, including St. John's Catholic Church on the beach and the First Baptist Church.  Funeral services are being said at other churches around the South Shore.  One of the churches in Plympton was unavailable for a service, since it had scheduled a same sex wedding with a lesbian couple doing a bondage ceremony.  Outside the church, the pastor had hung a banner over the door saying "We Rejoice in Equal Marriage."  Someone was so mad about it that he threw a rock with a couple of firecrackers attached to it.  The door was knocked down and the banner went up in flames.  Fortunately, no one was hurt.
Several burial services are scheduled on Tuesday with dozens of participants expected.  Next Friday, a memorial service is planned in Periwinkle Village Town Square.  There's a report that the Fourth of July celebrations will be cancelled, but nothing's come to pass.
Meanwhile, Tyler's wife is having trouble with the nurses in the nursing home.  She is so devastated with 2 neurological conditions going through her body and ravaging it.

Sunday, September 28, 2014


On Christmas Eve 1977, WXNE-TV Channel 25 in Boston, Massachusetts(which was run by the CBN company in Virginia) was just signing off its broadcast day with a Christmas story and the national anthem.  15 seconds after the anthem ended, someone in a small house in Needham, near the Channel 25 transmitter turned on the lights in a private studio. He used a state of the art video system to break into the computer that ran its transmitter.

About 12:10 a.m., he pressed a button causing the system to light up.  Seconds later, TV sets that were still tuned to Channel 25 saw this come on the screen.


The opening had been stolen from a tape of WUNR-AM's Super 16 program, which ran most of the night weeknights.

As the tape continued, its theme music was heard.

"Your hit music's on us!"

And then a female voice said-

"Blue 25!  Porn!"

He switched on his small video camera and started playing a weird jazz record.  At last, his face came up on the screen.

"Good morning, everyone," he said.  "Welcome to Blue 25 Porn. I'm your host Tyler Callahan. Instead of our usual erotic material-we're gonna forgo that this morning-we're gonna run some cartoons that celebrate the spirit of Christmas."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Is that Santa Claus I hear?" he asked.

The door was broken down and 3 Needham Police officers came into the studio and seized the host.

"Okay, asshole," one of the cops said.  "Let's go!  You're coming with us!"

The man argued with the cops, but they tore the studio apart and took him into the local police station.  He spent most of Christmas Eve in jail, until he was bailed out by his wife the next morning.

That man was Tyler Callahan, who lived in Needham at the time before he moved to Periwinkle Village.  However, the cops were unable to get an indictment on him.  He got off scott free, but he didn't try anything like that again!

Friday, May 30, 2014


As Sean and Clark enter the hospital, they come across a poster of Roger Ebert, taken for the February 2010 issue of "Esquire," in which he uses text-to-speech software and chicken scratch to communicate his thoughts about life and death.  His jaw is missing and his face is sculptured like a plum.  On the poster, they see a thought balloon over his head saying "I can't talk anymore."  And then below his jaw, another thought balloon says "Cancer has robbed me of my voice."

And underneath the poster, written in bold black letters, is the tagline "Don't End Up Like Roger Ebert."  And under it it says, "Call 1-800-QUIT-NOW or visit today.  Remember, you can quit."  After they pass the poster, someone walks along and tears it off the wall before tearing it in pieces.

"Fucking Ebert!" the man says.  "They're using that jerk to stop us smokers from enjoying what we love."

As he throws the poster into the trash, a janitor sitting nearby claps his hands and says, "Applause!  Applause!  Sieg Heil!"  The man comes over and belts him in the jaw, sending him straight on his back.

"Sieg Heil My Ass, motherfucker!" he says.  And he walks out of the building before anyone knows about the incident.  As he disappears into the night, we hear him saying this:

"We don't care
if you choke!
We got rights,
and we're gonna smoke!"

"Thank God you're here, Mr. Harrigan," the doctor, a 50 year old balding man says.  "Caitlin's ex-boyfriend rode in on his motorcycle and started shooting.  Your daughter was hit in the face 3 times before he went on to shoot some of the others."

"How is she?" Sean asks.

"We did all we could, Mr. Harrigan," the doctor says sadly.  "We lost her."

"Oh, my God!" Sean screams before breaking down and crying on the floor.  Clark walks to a nearby chair and collapses, crying with his hands in his face.  3 or 4 other families are being told about the deaths of their children.  More victims are coming in by the minute as the death and injury toll mounts.

Back at the Store, Prema has locked up and is walking down to her car when one of the cops comes over to see her.

"Prema, did you hear?"

"No.  What?"

"Caitlin Harrigan was killed by her ex-boyfriend at the prom this evening."

"You're kidding!"

"I'm not.  Some bastard came in and shot her and several others before taking off.  Some of his bullets caused the equipment to overheat and catch fire.  One of my men shot him as he was going down the street.  He got hit and crashed into the Pemex USA station just off Rte. 53.  The place's been totalled."

"Oh, my God."  Prema bows her head in sadness at the news.  "What about the rest of the gang?"

"Nearly 50 are dead, 110 are injured.  The fire exits were chained by the management, so they had to jump out windows to save themselves."

"What's happening to this town?"

"I don't know, Prema.  I just don't know."

By the time the morning papers come out, the death toll stands at 57, most of them high school students on the verge of graduation.  More than 110 more are injured, some of them with life threatening injuries.  As plans are made for the mass funerals, people across New England are asking what happened, how it happened, and why it happened.

Tyler, who's on his way to visit his wife in the nursing home, meets Marvin.

"Did you hear?" Marvin asks.

"No, what?" Tyler asks.

"Sean Harrigan's daughter's dead," Marvin says.  "She died at the prom last night."

"My God," Tyler replies. "How'd it happen?"

"Her ex-boyfriend burst into the prom on his cycle, shot at her and most of the other students before setting the place on fire."

Suddenly, the man who tore the poster at the hospital passes them by.  Marvin looks look suspiciously at him.

"What are you looking at me for?" he tells the two men.  "I didn't do anything.  I wasn't even near the high school last night."  And he walks away.

"We didn't say you did, buddy," Tyler says sarcastically.  "We were talking about someone else."


To be continued...