Monday, June 6, 2011


Now, it's several hours later.  1 o'clock in the morning, to be exact.  As Tyler sits down to plan the next day's activities, he's watching a 15 minute sign-off feature on the local TV show featuring the animated "Wacky Races" crew(minus Dick Dastardly) singing lullabies to all the viewers who are still awake at this hour.

"Summer nonsense!" Tyler snarls. "Sucking nonsense with cartoon characters singing lullabies when every kid in the block is asleep." He switches the channel to see another TV station showing bondage films all night.

"Welcome to Bound and Gagged Theater," the announcer booms. "Tonight, we present Lesbians In Bondage starring Betsy Belle and Tempest Blue. After that, we'll present Galaxy Blue Tied To The Railroad Tracks. It's coming up next, so stay tuned."

He switches back to the station that's carrying the Wacky Racers being chased out of their studio by Dick Dastardly's new bulldozer.

"Well, Muttley," he tells his canine cohort, "we've finally got the studio to our own."

Suddenly, the roof falls upon them and covers them. After 5 seconds, Dick kicks the door out and walks out shaken. "Drat! Double drat!" he says.

As the picture fades to black, we can hear Muttley laughing. Then the TV station logo comes on as the announcer says, "It's time for us to leave the air now. We'll be back this morning at 6 a.m., so don't forget to join us then. This is WDNK-DT channel 28.1 in Periwinkle Village, Massachusetts. See ya tomorrow."

Then Jim Reeves is heard singing "The Night Watch." Tyler turns it off and goes up to check on his wife.  She's dozed off, so he gets ready to hit the sack himself when suddenly a hissing sound is heard and a liquid stain appears on the blankets.

"Oh, great!" Tyler shouts.  "She's lost her bladder!"

Veronica wakes up and sees what has happened, after which she screams at the top of her lungs.

"Don't get excited, Veronica," Tyler says.  "Just don't get excited, please."  It takes nearly 2 hours to get her bathed and dressed again.  Also, he has to change the sheets and get on fresh bed clothes.  By the time he's finally ready to hit the hay, it's almost 3 a.m.  And that doesn't leave them much time for sleep; they've got to be back up in 3 hours to prepare for their daughter's funeral.

Such is the situation of spouses who are fighting conflicting neurological disorders.  As Tyler finally falls asleep, he thinks to himself, "Sheesh!  What's next?"
At the same time Tyler finds Veronica having the wetting accident, down the street at an old storefront, which has been turned into a local pirate radio station, a young man is speaking into his microphone as his record is ending.
"And that's the final tune of the night," he says.  "I hope you liked it.  I'd love to be able to say that we're ahead of much more merriment, but at this time JERK-FM leaves the air.  This station is owned and operated by the Mucus Connection and operates on various frequencies without FCC approval.  Our business offices, studios and transmitters are on Seagull Road in Periwinkle Village.  We'll be back on the air in the morning with our Breakfast Jam, so please look for us by scanning your dial settings.  Good night to all of you."

As he puts on the National Anthem of the People's Republic of China, he hears a knock at the door.

The man gets up and opens the door, seeing a black man with a gun in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

The man replies by shooting him 3 times in the stomach and leaving him to bleed to death.

"Serves you right for calling me Fasto, honkey!" he snarls before disappearing into the night.  But he doesn't get far; he gets hit by a State Police cruiser near the beach.  He's pronounced dead at the scene.  The man he shot is taken to the hospital, where he's rushed into emergency surgery.  He survives, but just barely.

To be continued...

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